Your Mom Goes To College

Happy Mother's Day! This post is dedicated to mothers.

So those of you who know me personally know that I have a somewhat twisted sense of humour... which means, among other things, that I go around telling Yo Mama jokes on Mother's Day.

- Yo mama's so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.
- Yo mama's so fat she's got her own area code!
- Yo mama's so fat she's on both sides of the family!
- Yo mama's so fat that when she sits around the house she sits AROUND THE HOUSE.
- Yo mama's so fat she fell in love and broke it!
- Yo mama's so skinny, she turned sideways and disappeared.
- Yo mama's so skinny, instead of calling her your parent, you call her transparent.
- Yo mama's so skinny, she only has one stripe on her pajamas.
- Yo mama's so skinny, she has to run around in the shower to get wet.
- Yo mama's so old her social security number is 1!
- Yo mama's so old that when she was in school there was no history class.
- Yo mama's so old that she was alive when the Dead Sea was only sick.
- Yo mama's so old, she knew Mr. Clean when he had an afro.
- Yo mama's so old, she has an autographed bible.
- Yo mama's so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to makeup her mind.
- Yo mama's so stupid, she climbed over a glass wall to see what was behind it.
- Yo mama's so stupid, she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.
- Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks socialism means partying!
- Yo mama's so stupid, she ordered her sushi well done.

And when I have children I am sure they'll say this:
- Yo mama's glasses are so thick she can see into the future.
- Yo mama's glasses are so thick that when she looks at a map she sees people waving at her.
- Yo mama's so short, she be jumping off curbs talkin' bout "Weeee!"
- Yo mama's so short, her homies are the Keebler Elfs.
* and maybe the Yo Mama So Fat ones too. We'll see.

And if I decide to live in Europe...
- Yo mama's so poor she can't afford the O or the R.
- Yo mama's so poor when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!"
- Yo mama's so poor she can't pay attention.

But more importantly, I recorded a solo for my mom just for kicks. This is one of the solos I didn't get in "A Chorus Line" because they switched my role out (and I didn't get any solos, ha ha).

A Chorus Line - Mother (by Joanne!)

I hate the sound of my voice but I really liked the song. It's short though.

And in honour of my London trip in two days, a song by the Spice Girls!



And you know who ELSE will be in London in two days? The Backstreet Boys...



(it sucks that Nick has a bad relationship with his mom, though.)

... and Josh Groban.



But my favourite "mom" song has to be Boyz II Men's "A Song for Mama."